The pathology report

During the surgery, the first incision was for the removal of the sentinel lymph nodes, the nodes nearest the cancer. These nodes are then rushed down to the lab and quickly checked for cancer. During my surgery, these nodes appeared clean or cancer-free. These results helped the surgeon determine how much tissue to take from my breast. However, the final, complete, fully in-depth pathology report is given a full week later. During this week the pathologist stains the outside of the tissue with ink, slices the sample and looks closely at each hunting for any tiny bits of cancer that may be there. If any cancer was found in my lymph, it was a sign that the cancer had spread and I would need chemotherapy in addition to radiation. Michael and Lily went with me to get the final pathology report. Each of us was so afraid that we barely spoke. After the nurse took my temp and blood pressure and left us to wait for Dr. V to enter and give us our awaited results, I remember looking these two precious people in their lovely brown eyes and telling them that no matter what the report indicated I would be fine, I would fight and survive. Dr. V came in and asked me how I was doing. He checked the incision and asked how the infection was healing. After his exam, he opened my electronic chart and read the pathology report: "Well, it appears that the surgery was a success. There were wide margins around the cancer and the lymph nodes were clean." In other words, he got it all and it hadn't spread beyond the site. Success! Victory! Peace! I could start breathing again.
I looked over at my dear Michael and he was sobbing. I saw just how heavy his burden had been carrying me through the diagnosis and surgery. He had been so frightened and unable to show it because he had put me and my well-being before his comfort. I realized that I had played the worst card in marriage poker. I had played the "Sickness and Health" card, the card that often ends the game. Our game had changed. Although there was still healing and treatment to come, we had plenty of chips left to play and our game, and marriage, was no where near over. Such a richness of blessings.