Six Months=A Change of Life

It was six months ago on Wednesday that I was wheeled away from my family, hooked up to an IV, and had my breast cancer surgery. I spent the afternoon having my post-treatment mammogram. After the first set of images were taken, I sat and waited to learn if there was a need for any more. I realized that in the time since my last visit to the Breast Imaging Center I had changed from the certain, assured determined woman I was to someone who is bothered a little less, loves a lot more, and finds joy in the most mundane situations. I was struck by my feelings of sadness and fear. I was so sad that such an ordeal ever happened to me and those that I love. And, even harder to shake, are my feelings of fear that the cancer will return and the treatments will not be enough to stop it from taking over my life. When the technician called me for additional shots of my altered breast, I gave her my "Power Look"-the very one that can stop a student in their tracks no matter what they were doing. I slowly spoke, telling her that "the last time you asked me for some additional images, I found myself on a long road through the valley of the shadow of terror. Tell me what I need to know." The dear tech, not a stranger to highly emotional patients, broke into a reassuring smile and told me that she used the wrong lens and that the machine had the problem, not me. After taken all the necessary shots, she graciously showed me the pre-surgery images and the post-treatment images. Best of all, there was nothing there! No spots! No areas of concern! No fear!
Best of all, my oncologist emailed me the next day to tell me that my mammograms looked great! Hallelujah.